Warning: This article contains spoilers for everything in Season 6 so far, all the terrible, bloody things.
We all have a lot of hopes, dreams and feelings about this week’s penultimate episode of Game of Thrones.
This is a safe space to talk about them.
The episode will largely consist of the show’s biggest battle to date, The Battle of the Bastards. Finally, if we can believe previews, Jon Snow’s ragtag band of Northern houses will face off against Ramsay Bolton’s forces. The fate of Winterfell and all of the North hangs in the balance. For fans, there’s a lot riding on what’s going to happen.
Here are all the things we would like to see. Yes, a lot of them are about Ramsey dying.
1. A rousing, Braveheart-style speech.
2. Drone footage.
3. Giants ripping people apart, because that’s awesome.
4. Sansa slowly murders Ramsey.
5. The Hound shows up and wields his mighty axe.
6. Giants stepping on people like tiny bugs.
7. Arya shows up and is all:
8. White walker hordes.
9. Peace on earth and good will towards men (and women).
10. Ramsey’s head is cut off by Jon Snow.
11. Sansa is named the glorious Wardeness of the North.
12. Shaggydog is not dead.
13. Rickon and Sansa hug and it gives you all the feels.
14. Rickon is named Warden of the North (j.k. j.k. not really because it’ll be Sansa).
15. Ghost shows up and mauls Ramsey.
16. Ramsey gets stabbed a kajillion times.
17. Ramsey gets split in two with Jon’s amazing Valyrian steel sword.
18. Ramsey just dies. Just die already.
19. White Walkers come to help out Jon Snow because they’re cool for a minute.
20. Kickass sword fights.
21. Brienne shows up and wreaks havoc.
22. Podrick becomes a total badass.
23. Littlefinger actually brings the Nights of the Vale because, let’s face it, he owes Sansa, big time.
24. Littlefinger dies. Please.
25. All the Northern armies show up unexpectedly.
26. Tormund and Brienne share a passionate kiss once the battle is won. We need this.
27. Lady Stoneheart shows up and murders everyone (NVM, this won’t happen).
28. The Brotherhood Without Banners come riding in half-way through.
29. Someone from the Bolton army sees the giant and runs away like a little baby.
30. Lady Lyanna of Mormont comes riding in like a tiny Queen Boudicca and kills 50 men.
31. Jon Snow thanks Littlefinger for coming to help and then punches him in the face.
32. Bran Stark uses his special powers to make Ramsey go crazy.
33. Someone says, “Winter is here, motherfucker.”
34. A snowball fight.
35. Melisandre uses her witch powers to make another ghost/smoke baby that kills people.
36. Robin Arryn has to fight and it ends badly.
37. Little finger has to fight and it ends badly.
38. Ramsey has to fight Jon Snow…and it ends badly.
39. We just want Ramsey to die and don’t care what else happens.
40. Someone gets set on fire. Probably Ramsey.
41. Michael Bay-level explosions.
42. Sansa dances on Ramsey’s grave and all the children sing happily.
43. Daenerys shows up with her dragons.
44. Badass Tyrion jumps off a dragon in front of Sansa and is all, “Sup, girl?”
45. Ramsey gets eaten by a direwolf.
46. Ramsey gets skinned alive.
47. Theon shows up and tortures Ramsey.
48. Hodor comes back from the dead as a super friendly White Walker.
49.Gendry comes back. What happened to that guy?
50. It was all a dream.
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